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Jeffrey M. Brandler, EdS CAS

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Certified Addictions Specialist

420 Boulevard, Suite 208

Mountain Lakes, NJ 07046

(973) 402-2647

(866) 595-6791(fax)

        In 24 years of being a therapist, I have discovered that:

                    1) change is difficult   

                     2) change is scary,

but most importantly, regardless, of the   type of the problem, the degree of the problem, the duration of the problem

            CHANGE IS POSSIBLE

                 Change is always possible-- it will require some different ways of looking at  problems, some different ways of handling problems, as well  as noticing  when change actually  occurs. 

Couples inevitably get stuck in many   patterns.   They continue to do the same things over and over.  They even know that  they're stuck, but feel unable to change.  When they begin to  talk about the problems, they also begin to  recognize the patterns.  This gets them closer to change.   The key  to change is remembering that change is possible

 

 

 

MOTIVATION

 

People get confused all the time about change.  They feel they must be motivated to change.  Therapists even accuse people of not being motivated, not being ready, even not being able to change.     Motivation is not all or none.  Sometimes people are 51%-49% in favor of change.  That is change.  As a therapist, the goal is to help the person increase the percentage of themselves that wants change and decrease the side that does not want change.  I look at 1 or 2 % change as being the ideal goal for initial change since small changes leads to  more small changes.

 

 

 

 

 

This page was last edited on 05/07/2008