APOLOGY AND FORGIVENESS
from Case (2005)
One of the most important aspect of dealing with the hurt that a loved one cause is the process of forgiveness. How does a person forgive? How does a person apologize? Here are some guidelines to help.
| THE PROCESS OF FORGIVING | THE PROCESS OF APOLOGY |
| Recognizing/acknowledging the injustice(s) | Acknowledge what you did to hurt/offend him/her |
| Choosing forgiveness as an option | Learn how what you did impacted him/her and express an understanding of that impact |
| Getting in touch with feelings of hurt/anger | Make restitution where needed and possible |
| Expressing the feelings in non-hurtful ways | Learn how and why you did what you did, and share understanding with other person |
| Gaining insights which allow for self-protection | Identify and show your plan of action to not repeat hurtful behavior |
| Gaining insights which allow you to focus on the behavior, not the person | Overtly apologize and ask for forgiveness |
| Recognizing your own role in the "bigger picture" of hurtful behaviors in the relationship | FOLLOW THROUGH!!!! |
| Using new information to change how you view and treat the hurtful person | |
| The overt act of forgiveness and restoration of love and trust |
If you follow these steps, in time, your hurt and pain will be reduced.